THIS IS GOODBYE. January 30, 2009

it was a magical year.  the kind i never imagined i would be blessed enough to experience.  on new year’s day 2008, i rode the giant tricycles of puerto prinsesa all over the city … in march, i shopped till i dropped, then put my feet up on the window sill to catch a singapore sunset …                          [...]

GIRL IN A DUMPTRUCK July 24, 2008

                Here’s a shot of me on my favorite mode of transportation these days: the dump truck.  In keeping with my new official designation: beach cleaner.  I filled sacks of endless beach garbage today.  Worked in the rain without cover for four straight hours.  Was in and out of waist deep water carrying loads of things.  Ate with my unwashed [...]

CORNER OF THE SKY May 18, 2008

“Rivers belong where they can ramble, eagles belong where they can fly, I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free … got to find my corner of the sky…”  Pippin I don’t exactly know where I’m going. Not in the big picture life sense anyway. But I do know I’m glad about the road I [...]

INNER QUIET May 1, 2008

I went back to the Gandhi museum on a Monday … when I knew it would be closed. I was the only visitor on the grounds that afternoon. And so the gardener let me walk this path normally cordoned off from guests — the path tracing Gandhi’s footsteps to the exact spot where he was shot in [...]

CORRESPONDENCES March 30, 2008

A note from Zivan (in Heyward) to me and Naya: “I remember … having a world war against 6-year-old Nessa in Hong Kong and laying out all our toys in the hallway so that these toys could annihilate each other one by one.  Turn by turn, one of my toys would topple one of hers, and [...]

BOSSA NOVA AND A LOVE STORY February 14, 2008

“Olha que coisa mais linda, mais cheia de graca, e ela menina que vem e que passa, num doce balanco, caminho do mar …” A Garota Ipanema The first recording of Girl From Ipanema, with Joao and Astrud Gilberto singing, Joao also on guitar, Stan Getz on tenor sax and Antonio Carlos Jobim on the piano is purely, [...]

DREAM WORLDS WITHIN US February 1, 2008

Today was the enth time in the past few months that I suddenly awakened to the sound of myself screaming.  And found R shaking me, trying to figure out what happened again. I used to have bad dreams about being tortured by monsters or watching my loved ones die, which would make me scream.  But lately I [...]

35 … ONE MOMENT IN FOREVER … January 14, 2008

            This is the best birthday I ever remember having.  I’m here, in my today, feeling present for a change.  You won’t understand because most of you already live in the here and now.  It was different with me:  I used to live in the future, impatient for things to happen, impatient with myself for [...]

MY BLOG: THE BOYFRIEND SUBSTITUTE January 4, 2008

“Go be that starving artist you’re afraid to be.  Open up that journal and get poetic finally.  You were not born here to work and pay taxes.  Take pictures.  Scare people.  Shake up the scene.  Be the change you want to see in the world,”  Jason Mraz (recent journal entry).                    Why do you guys blog? [...]

SUNLESS SUNRISE: EDITED VERSION December 22, 2007

Opening Montage: Dizzying spinning, sickening drinking Room full of breaking hearts Cutaway: Me on my sixth or is it seventh shot Thought I was whole yet am as broken as they Transition To: A talk resumes as deep as the ocean Should have told him I don’t know how to swim Jump Cut Series: Are [...]